I enjoyed this post. Two Americans and one French guy had a round-table talk about Japanese women. They said the annyoying part of Japanese women is they doesn’t make themselves clear. They don't say Yes or No clearly but they get angry if guys can't catch it. I heard it's very hard to know the real feelings of the Japanese. My American friend complained about this. He taught English at a private company. All students were friendly, they laughed in the class always. He said to students that they could tell anything about him and the class. However he heard from his boss, the company asked to change teachers. He really could not understand what was happening. Their friendly attitude was just their "Tatemae" and far from their real feeling "Honne". I am not sure what was real in that case, but I can say Japanese people tend to avoid hurting someone by refusal. Even in a case they don't like so much, they pretend to like it and avoid saying "No" in person. I won't say it is good or bad, but we have such a culture where we are vague in our responses, and so that we need to sense other's feelings or “catch wind.” We say "空気を読む" (to read air). Those are the ways of Japanese communication.
But in relationships between a man and a woman, I can't imagine the Japanese are so different from other people. I want to ask foreign guys... For example, you ask your GF, "What do you want for your Birthday present?" She replies, "No, no, your warm feelings are enough." But if you don't give her anything, she might be in a bad mood...This might not happen to you? Okay, how about this: You ask your wife, "How about going to eat dinner at my friend’s house?" Your wife replies, "We went there two weeks ago, but if you want to…okay, let's go." In this case, you should sense her "okay level" from her way of talking and facial expression. I suppose you would do this with your GF or wife too. You call to her and ask, "Do you have time this weekend? How about dinner at the restaurant?" She says, "Ah well, I have a dentist appointment, I am not sure what time it will be done, I might have a pain killer shot too. So..." You ask, "Do you have a boyfriend? Or you don't want to go out with me?" She says, "No, no, I don't have any particular BF just right now and it would be nice to go to dinner with you, but I have no time this weekend. Sorry." This hasn't happened to you? I think I watched this kind of scene in Hollywood movies. Single women tend to be unclear always. :-) No?
Anyway, the interesting part is Japanese women's charm. They said Japanese women's charm is their open mind and their energy. The French guy said Japanese women are pleased to take on a new challenge, and actually most Japanese overseas students learning in France were female. He said Japanese women wouldn't care if they understood the language or not, they did what they wanted to do and were very active. An American guy agreed with him. He said young Americans seem not to have an interest in foreign countries and they don't have an interest in living overseas too. Hmm, I did not think like that. However when I come to think of it, all of my friends who went to study abroad were women. All international couples consist of a Japanese woman and a foreign guy.
However, of course it can't be completely agreed. They meet Japanese girls who work at such companies (that have foreign employees), have such friend networks (international), use such communications (English site or newspaper), etc. You know, they meet such girls, it is inevitable that they feel like that. You will meet your type of person in your society and your activities. This is the same rule as the issue of a hot topic "Kakusa shakai" (a society of disparity). Kakusa shakai is one of the 2006 word of the year.. Actually for the above-mentioned American teacher, things seem to be different. He says many Japanese women seem not so independent. Even though Japanese women stopped hoping for "Sanko"(ideal partner), they still expect to be housewives and stay in sweet homes. He said this because he teaches English to such housewives. He said also studying English is just a language interest for them, and they have no concern for other countries. (Of course, that’s better than no interest though).
By the way, another American said Japanese women give up their time and energy to their boyfriends and it's admirable, but also it’s too much if they go too far. I really agree with him. Do you like such devotion or not? It depends on you :)