Mari - diary

Hokkaido woman is violent?

These blogs are in Japanese, but the pictures are beautiful and you can enjoy just seeing them. Kyoto blog, Japanese sweet "wagashi" blog and idyll blog that appeals to Japanese nostalgic feelings (I was born in Tokyo, but I feel it.)

Hmm, some crazy Japanese may have made this Trojan. Apparently this is similar to the "Haruhi Virus"...orz.

A few years ago, a guy wrote his complaints about his lazy, scary wife. And the blog became a book and TV drama. It was a kind of success story that web 2.0.brought to us and actually we felt it was just his bragging, so I laughed to see the post was linked to this "domestic violence link."

I found the article on Hokkaido local news. There are 16 "Spousal Violence Counseling and Support Centers" in Hokkaido. In 2006, they got 1668 calls and 42 (2.5%) of them were from husbands. They confessed some violent problems like their wives kicked and punched them, or threw something at them. And also they said there were mental attacks like their wives loudly complaining or casting out their stuff, especially what they liked and cared about. Compared to other areas in Japan, 2.5% is higher and also the rate is increasing every year in Hokkaido.

They suppose this might come from the history of Hokkaido. Hokkaido was known as Ezochi until the Meiji Restoration and it was just 160 years before when Hokkaido was developed in earnest. When they developed the land, men and women worked together fairly. Because of such history, Hokkaido is said to be the most gender-equal area in Japan.

That is interesting, but I am not sure 2.5% is high or not. And it means Hokkaido women tend to be violent more than others? Because of their equality of the sexes idea, we might think Hokkaido men would use counseling more easily than men in other areas. Actually, some research said 46.9% of DV victim wives used counseling but 84.4% of husbands didn't tell anybody when they experienced violence from their wives. Men hesitated to tell their domestic problems.

You do it? so you are Old.

I believe, and persuade myself that "the youth depends on soul". Yap, of course, why not? I am living as "an everlasting twenty-seven". However, I freeze when I find the "Obasan (old-lady)" on me sometimes. I have heard I talk like my mom (especially, when I use listing sounds), I realize I can complain easily when I shop. (I was too shy to do it when I was young), and I hardly use manicure now (I won't have an elaborate manicure like this, because I need to wash and cook.)

I found this message board. They are talking "You do it? so you are Obasan". (web translated) It's very interesting to read this for myself and I wonder if people in other countries will agree, or find any of the following characteristics familiar:

Lick fingers to open the plastic bag at a store.
Cut in the line and dash into the train to get a seat.
Talk and laugh loudly.
Talk in the middle of the sidewalk or in front of a shelf in the store.
Ask a clerk for help without checking for yourself at a store.
Wear expensive but old fashioned clothes.
Wear a T-shirt -- long and with an animal print centered in front is the worst.
When she laughs, she taps with the person next to her.
Tend to queue tightly when we make the line for the ATM machine.

I think becoming Obasan means no shaming and no feeling the vibration (we say read air) beyond a certain range from her. Then the range will be smaller and smaller.

Hmm I will add some.
rubber Wear elastic waist skirt or pants. (actually I should stop wearing some with stretch material.)
she likes animal print. (I suppose they need sexy pheromone, so she borrows it from the wild. Some said Obasan in the Osaka area need it when she browbeats the clerk to ask for a discount. It's kind of uniform for Obasans in Osaka.)
she cooks and eats foods that are nothing out of the ordinary. (food routines are part of getting into this Obasan pattern, changing is getting hard when we get older, and even on diet we can see it.)

On the message board, some said "she talks to strangers at the store or bus stop." This reminds me that my American friend said he could feel "I am home" when somebody said "hello", "how are you doing?" at a store in the U.S. In Japan, especially in the Tokyo area, we hardly say hello to strangers. Some think taking and keeping a certain distance is necessary etiquette. I don't dislike it when we say hello to each other. I am not sure which is nicer.

By the way, they did not mean that Obasan says hello to you at the store, or that an Obasan says "this is delicious, I knew it." when you see some food. She says "Ah.. what should I cook tonight" and watches you with a big "Huh?". Any creature except for the Obasan won't do it. What do you think? It is the same in your country?

I hate Valentine day.

My co-worker sent me mail this morning. "Hi, Mari. It costs 1500yen for each person to buy chocolates in this section. I will collect money later." This means all women at my work got chocolate for the male co-workers for a Valentine gift. This is a crazy custom. Everybody knows this is a paltry trick by the chocolate makers. I don't want to spend money to buy chocolate for some guy I hardly talk with. It's not a money issue, I don't like to follow such tricks, but if I stop, I feel bad for my women coworkers. I'm not the only woman who thinks like this, but I am not sure we will stop this even though we all are unhappy. You know, we can guess many women will think like this when they buy giri choco. "Ah, maybe I have to buy chocolate for that baldie sitting next to me. But that beer barrel will sulk, if I only gave to baldie...Wow I think I need to send one to my boss to ask for three days off next week. Ah, I want to eat a nice lunch instead of spending my money on this!" Will you enjoy a chocolate when you imagine this? By that I mean, guys can't be happy to get such a gift. Who can be happy in this Japanese valentine? Not women, not guys. Only chocolate makers.

Do you think I post this type of topic every day? he he he. I don't know why, but I can find such posts as nude, strip, or porn very often. I also can't skip kitsch design whenever I find it. Well, Spring will come soon; people's heads are getting into a flower garden mood, right? Panik House.com is an online shop. Their download page is funny. I am not sure: is this a shop of Omote Sando Hills? great window desplay. Check thier official site. I wonder if D&G's theme for guys is "brief." :-)

By the way, EL EL said Dolce & Gobbana sounds like some Banana chocolate sweets. I agree. D & G sounds so sweet to me. I got a mail interview about Natto from International Internatioal Herald Tribune/The Asahi shinbuni shinbun. Here is the article. Hmm, as if I am a big Natto supporter. Maybe it could be true.

Youtube agreed

Wow, this Swedish company makes very cool films and ads. Kakkoii! And this notcot has really good sense. Every choice is cool. I wish I could make such a cool site but I would be talkative more than I guessed. :-0

I wrote JASRAC strongly urged YouTube to show warnings on the site. YouTube CEO Chad Hurley came to Japan, and YouTube agreed to display warnings on its Web site in Japanese. I don't know how it will be. Maybe only users who log in as Japanese will see it.

Of course I know lyricists and composers entrust their music copyrights to the JASRAC. JASRAC works to protect the musical copyright or copyright holders. But! Their way makes us hate the JASRAC. Last year end we had this news: "The 73-year-old owner of a bar arrested over piano performances." This site Joi Ito had this post and many people were surprised to read it. Well, you go to the jazz bar with your girlfriend and ask a piano man to play "Fly Me To The Moon" because your GF is a fan of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Then the bar owner has to go to jail. Do you think this is normal? Well, we can't help him, because actually we have such a law and JASRAC didn't do wrong. But still this case is open to question. JASRAC checks every bar in Japan? If this case was a lesson to others, why did JASRAC choose such an old man's old bar in a local city? Bully?

There is more to it. The bar promised to boadcast to JASRAC to show what it is playing every night. Then the court allowed the bar to play classics or non-copyright music. However, the JASRAC appealed against this sentence. Then finally the court ruled to prohibit the playing of music and called for removal of the piano because there is a possibility the bar will break the law again. This is the decision (since it's a Japanese pdf, I am not sure you can open it). The bar is Desafinado in Wakayama pref. They say they are playing classic and non-copyright music, so maybe they still have a piano now. They are carrying out a signature collection campaign in a bid to change the copyright law.

If you enjoy Japanese anime and TV show on YouTube, they will be gone. JASRAC controls everything.

"Katakori"

Hand made playing cards of body parts; it will be nice to learn Japanese. Actually I am so weak in such English words, it's difficult to remember because I don't use those types of words in regular conversation. And the more difficult part is the verbal description of how do I feel when I’m sick. For example, when I have a stomach ache, I say "My stomach hurts Shiku-Shiku" (しくしく). I checked a dictionary, and they say it's a "griping pain." When I say "My stomach hurts Kiri-Kiri"(きりきり) in Japanese, maybe it will be close to say "it's a sharp pain" in English. A throbbing toothache will be "Zuki-Zuki" pain in Japanese. Well, like I wrote here, Japanese express our pain in "Gitaigo". And it will be harder for foreign people to learn those words in Japanese. (I wrote about onomatopoeias before and Brian pointed out I mixed Gitaigo and onomatopoeias (Giongo) Arigato Brian!)

And a very interesting part is not only the difference of words but also real disease presentation and symptoms. The famous one is "Katakori." In English, it should be translated as "shoulder tension" or "neck stiffness," but our Katakori may be different from what you imagine from those English words. Here is an interesting document on Harvard Univ about "Our pains are a reflection of our cultural and historical circumstances."

Since last week I have a bad Katakori and use a cold patch all day. It might come from such physical reasons as my gym training or bad sitting position at work, but Katakori may also happen from such psychological reasons as stress or depression. Here is a post "Comparison of symptoms in Japanese and American depressed primary care patients" on Oxford Journals. If we Japanese are suffering from "Katakori," does it relate to our society being so stressful? Well, I can agree with that.

I wrote that the director of "Shall we dance?" Masayuki Suo, made a new film "I just didn't do that". He had a press conference in the foreign correspondents club of Japan a few days ago. I read the article and I was impressed by what he said. In Japan, there are women's only train cars in the morning as an action against molesters, but Suo said basically, "Crowded trains are unreasonable. If this happened in a foreign country, foreign women might sue train companies to get rid of such crowded trains." Hm, Indeed. I must say I accept crowded trains because I just have to accept them, but actually it is very stressful. My American friend can't ride it without a book or PSP or such things to which he can pay attention. I accept many stresses and since they are regular things for me, I don't care much. Many Japanese will do the same. But our bodies sense it and Katakori will be a typical sign.

Your ideal partner

"match.com" is the world wide largest online dating site. I found a little bit old but very interesting article about the trend of Japanese women on the Japan match.com. In the Bubble days, Japanese women's prerequisite for a partner was "Sanko"(三高). Sanko means "three high levels." These were high income, high educational background, and high height. Haughty? Yeah, everything was bubble. The Bubble had such craziness, right? But after the Bubble, Japanese women tried to survive in a dwindling economy for about 13 years and their ideal partner changed into "Santei"(三低). Santei means low posture, low risk and low dependency. It means that he adopts a low profile (the lady is first, of course ), he has a stable job and he can take care of himself. Still haughty? I may agree with them, sure :-). But they talk about a new nice trend too. It's "Sanshu" (三手). 手(shu/te) means hand, Sanshu means helping each other, taking each others’ hands and holding hands with each other. Hmm, it sounds very nice, but too mild. I think women will be more severe :-P

As a recent report of match.com was the trend of 2006, they said there were two big trends. One was the increase of love refugees. Late 30s guys can't get married and get to be parasite, career women tend to choose being single, and only Internet matching sites support those single people. And another trend was community perception of remarriage.

Anyway economically  "the bubble"  caused serious damage for Japan. But in a cultural line, Juliana, nopan shabu shabu, Onelen (one length hair), Bodicon (Body conscious)　etc,. everything was funny now. The new movie  "Bubble he go" (go Bubble) is such a movie, going back to the Bubble era by time machine and trying to stop the breaking up Bubble. Here is the trailer. Hiroshi Abe matches the main character.

onomatopoeias

My day off lasted only 2 days. My head is really empty, if you shake me you can hear the sound "からんからん : karan-karan". You put a piece of dry bean into an aluminum can and sheke it. "karan-karan" is a Japanese onomatopoeia of the sound. I try to find how I can write it in English, but I can't find it in the dictionary. I checked other Japanese onomatopoeias then realize Japanese language has a lot of onomatopoeias.

Here is the onomatopoeia online dictionary. About 350 words in there. Karan-karan is onomatopoeias of the real sound. And there are "image sound effect words". How can I say.... in English, "wishy-washy" will be such word. For example, "オロオロ : oro-oro" means "be completely flustered". "スヤスヤ : suya-suya! means sleep peacefully. "ギスギス : gisu-gisu" means "bad mood, rude, edgy". "イライラ : ira-ira" means irritable. "デコボコ : deko boko" means "bumpy". etc,. Hmm language is difficult.

By the way, this is the result when I am googling スヤスヤ suya-suya image. Yes, sleep peacefully.*

everything contains a kami(God)

I am working today. Most Japanese companies except for finance and IT companies would be off today. We will have "Nou-kai" (last meeting of the year), eat lunch together and get off around 2pm. After that I will go straight home and I will do the rest of my big cleaning up.

After Christmas, store and town decorations have changed to a New Year mood. Yesterday we prayed for Christ and today we pray for "our Kamisama" of Buddhism and Shinto which teaches that everything contains a kami (God).

Nifty Portal Z has a funny post about Shinto. In Shinto we use Kthe amidana as a miniature shrine at home. (I rarely see a family which has a Kamidana in their house.) A big model maker Tamiya has a miniture Kamidana in their product line. The post is "what has the most God-like appearance in the Shrine." The chart explains this: Top of center is the most God-like, low is just the contrary. Right are the most socially accepted images (she supposes many many people would agree, since it looks like God) and left is her personal opinion.

In that chart, a white snake is the best. Actually we have such folklore; I forget what story it is. The stone is next; this is so true. Many shrines worship the stone as God, actually.　She did not show them in the chart, but mountains, dogs (especially white dogs), and trees are often god in the Shinto religion. She picked a souvenior of Bali and a Turkey amulet as having a god-like appearance in the Kamidana set. I agree. Personally, I think the dried cactus which I saw in Arizona would have a good god-like appearance. Well, does this makes sense to you? Do you think we are impudent that we make jokes with religion? But I like this "ゆるい" loose attitude about religion.

Dankai no sedai - Japanese baby boomer

This is a funny "Visiting a Japanese House" game. Those questions and answers are not wrong, but I have no friends who have Kotatsu, Butsudan, Kamidana, or even a Washitsu (Japanese style room) at home, including me. So don't misunderstand that every Japanese lives in such a kind of house. Actually in the Showa period, those were typical Japanese houses, so Sazae san (another link) lives in such a type of house and a Japanese baby boomer would have lived in such a house before too.

Japanese baby boomers are called "Dankai no sedai" in Japanese. "Dankai” means mass or clot. American Baby Boomers are people born from 1947-1964(14 years). They number over 80 million and are about 27% of population. On the other hand, Japanese "Dankai no sedai" are born from 1947- 1949 (3 years) only, but they number 9 million and are 7% of the population of Japan. It means the Dankai no sedai exert a large influence on this society.

Wikipedia lists the character of Japanese Dankai no sedai.
-They had very hard competition for everything, they tend to be assertive but also nervous for equality.
-Generally they are said to be independent and social pioneers. However, truly independent persons are a small minority; most of them are said to have "awaiting instructions syndrome." They can't fit into today's society, but in the high-growth period of the Japanese economy (60's - 70's), people who could be faithful to order worked fine.
-They heard the horror of war from their parents and people around them, and so they are nervous regarding issues about war.
-They are very competitive but also they have a serious self complex.

Anyway most Dankai no sedai will retire in 2007 next year; it is even called the "2007 issue" in this country. When we say 2007 issue, it has bad and good images. One bad image is that those retired people will step on young people's employment chances until they start to get annual pensions. Another one is that they will retire with a lot of retirement money. Companies are trying to explore this Dankai Market. For example, in the new year some department stores will sell gougers called "fukubukuro" for the Dankai Market. Some sell the 2 round-the-world voyage (over 20 million yen) and golf sets with diamond and ruby on head parts ( 33 million yen), and Mitsukoshi will sell a Sukiyaki pot of 24-karat gold etc ....Who needs it? What poor taste. Actually I read that it is very hard to get the Dankai Market, because Dankai generation people don't want to be treated as old and their self-image is 10 years younger than their real age. But stores tend to think "something for the old" or "expensive but no sense."

Related Link
Japan's Baby Boomer Generation
Political parties recruiting baby boomers for local assembly seats
The Japanese Experience

guy's disillusionary attitude

Wow, today is a funny day. Some world leaders fell down in public: Former Premier Silvio Berlusconi in Italy and President Fox in Mexico. As a Japanese, I remember the president of the United State of America puked in Tokyo, but his wife's speech was a nice funny one after that.

This is a result of questionnairing conducted by Ranking Japan, "The ranking of guy's disillusionary attitude for women." I wonder if you will agree or you think some are unique Japanese feelings?

No1. He acts arrogant at the restaurant or shop : 1017
No2. He asks to split the bill, it's 10yen : 985
No3. He panics when he finds a cockroach or other bugs : 871
No4. After eating, he cleans his teeth by toothpick without hesitating : 852
No5. There are too many figures on his office desk : 767
No6. Printed T-shirts can be seen through his shirt : 633
No7. He is poor at parking a car : 620
No8. He looks good in a business suit but his ordinary clothes are so so : 602
No9. He really gets into cell phone games on the train : 528
No10. He wipes his face with the "OSHIBORI" (hand towel) at a restaurant : 463
No11. He is not good at wiring, he is not good with the PC : 453
No12. His wallet is big because of receipts and useless cards : 431
No13. He checks and gives his hair a trim in the subway window : 400
No14. He wear a nice business suit but his socks are white and cotton : 336
No15. He uses pictographic characters on his cell phone mail :304
No16. His hand writing is so bad so that we can't read it at the office : 295
No17. His typing is too fast and too loud : 210
No18. He collects point cards or coupons a lot : 157
No19. He likes to drink sweet cocktails like Kahlua milk: 152

No3 is okay for me if he doesn't cry :-) I agree with No7; I need a guy who has good motor coordination. Parking should be a very instinctive reaction, like animal behavior. No10 is very Japanese ("OSHIBORI" is a wet hand towel offered to customers in places such as restaurants or bars in Japan). I understand No.16 too. I don't care about his writing in private, but when he writes something on paper or a white board at the office, I want him to care about others reading without problems; it's a courtesy. From that stand point, I understand No17 too. He may not mean anything bad, but his loud typing has to be taken as exhibitionism.

There is woman's disillusionary attitude also. But it's not so interesting.
No1. She smokes and let it out through her nose :686
No2. Her scent of her perfume is too strong : 549
No3. She applies make-up in a train : 546
No4. She sleeps on a train with her mouth open : 421 .....
Mm there are no impressive answers there. I won't complain because maybe guys don't care about small things and don't dislike women for unreasonable reasons :-P