I am a loser!?

Ahh! Brad Pitt and Jeniffer Aniston got divorced finally. Brad wanted a baby and she chosed her career, that is the reason? If so, I understand this issue is always very difficult always. Last year, a book "Makeinu no Toboe" ("The distant barking of losing dogs") was very controversial very much in Japan. The Book says  the "Single, 30's and older, No kids" woman can be called "a loser". The author of the book Junko Sakai is just exactly in such loser situation.  What she wrote was that society wanted to label to such women badly, it happens sometimes because of old customs?, Sometimes because of old fashioned ideas?, sometimes because of jealousy?  Society always tends to make a winner and a loser,  so she decided to label by herslef. "I am a loser, so what?" that would seem to be the easiest way to avoid usuless conflict or waste of time with society and sometimes unfortunately with house wife friends :-(.    In this way, I am a exactly loser!! :-)

When I write these kinds of things, people in the world will think  "See?! Japan is so old fashioned, and still has discrimination against women". I must say it is true actually, from the views of society, stupid politicians have some very discriminating comments against women, and women's job will be unofficially limited in many companies. There is an old sytem, old ideas for women's roles. But ironically such societies make certain women tougher and more independent too. I appriciate the book because it gave us a good chance to think of this matter. It is not win-lose matter, it is a choice matter. That is all.

Personally and fortunatly I do not feel those kinds of limits at my job now. Actually always I feel the women are stronger and work better at my section of my job. On the other hand, young guys seemt to be getting weaker to me. This morning I got a call "I will be late because I have a stomach ache" again. I can tell that many young guy co-workers have stomach problems because of their stress or something. How do you think?

Comments

[Tracy]

Not for one second would I allow others nor myself to consent to calling myself a 'loser dog'. It is absolutely backwards and weak-minded for a woman to begin to allow that on herself, despite what decisions she made for herself.

The fact that she even uses the term "loser dogs" to describe herself and others who she thinks are like her is completely unforgivable. As a confident and happy lady at 33, I am happier than a lot of people around me. I don't feel as though I need other's approval to be me, nor feel threatened by my married friends. It's a shame that the author is so totally controlled by her surrounding. She reflects badly on others in similar situation. And I completely disagree with this indirect bash on women's rights!

[DA DA DA DUMB]

U R A LOSER

[Albert]

And now there's a TV drama too, based on the book.

[robert]

heh..makes winning sound like something for losers. ;) and for those who thought I would misspell winning as whining..shame on you. so often I notice it is the notion of equality that causes so much friction. I wonder if people understand the actual premise of equality? I dont think it is an apples to oranges comparison. I may be deluded (check that, I plead no contest)but it seems to me that it's a false hierarchy. The only thing propping the whole thing up, keeping it in stasis is our unwillingness to recognise the facts. Equality is internal, since we are all carbon based life forms, composed of atoms ( most of us at least) it doesn't get much more common, equal than that, it's when you start defining things like form and function that things stop being equal. That opens the door for all kinds of prejudice. How real is it? Very. But only in the context of our assumptions. There is an old saying "the perfect argument uses no words" if you want to be equal stop trying and be. (spoken like a true man..I know, I know..it's deplorable). I dont claim that current society doesn't discriminate, it obviously does and more than women. I disdain completely any system which would give one function, one aspect more signifigance in the total organizing principle, yet this is the current value system. That is changing. It only changes with awareness, but flipping the coin and hoping for the opposite side just gives you more of the same. Equality does not exist past our perception, and yet it is in everything. I am equal to the gravel I walk on when I go to the bus stop in the morning..or maybe it could be summed up ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if we didn't have ashes our bellys would bust..okay I went a little too far with the last part of that..but you get my drift. our only chance to be a part of the total picture exists right now. Right now, you are the same as a star, as a flower, as a woman, as a man, you are black, you are white, you are you, you are everything, you are nothing, omniscient, omnipresent, omnivorous. It is when we use the tools of egos design to give ourselves function. to put us in the spot, well the rules are already made in that system..how can we be happy with the outcome if we've already put the reigns in the hand of those who would yoke and exploit? want to change the future? change yourself now. it happens one person at a time, but it happens instantly. we as a race, humanity, are on the verge of a revolution. It could be we are on the verge of extinction, but that is how you know that change is coming. I see it...the Cosmic Chou line..we still have some time. will you jump?

[Claire （クレア）]

I would be a loser, too. Women have always had to be stronger in just about any culture, Japan, America, you name it. We have had to do more with less, harder and longer to be thought half as good as a man.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." She also said "A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water."

I would rather not be married than to be in a bad marriage, trapped with someone I couldn't stand, and burdened with his children. Yes, it sounds cynical, but if that's "winning", forget about it.